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THANKS FOR HELPING ME GAIN SOME EXTRA MOOLAH!

im feeling rather lost right now. very lost in fact. i dont know which direction i should head to, i dont know why im doing what im doing.
im annoyed by the fact that i couldnt even come up with a proper design that will show that im an art student. everyone around me tell me my designs are super nice. but deep down i know that many others are doing way better then me. i dont know if i should join band. i dont like MC at all. its boring really. maybe caused im dont have a red hot passion for photography and the things the MC members engage in that somehow amuses them. im feel really sad when i hear people playing music and i know im not one of them. 7years of musicianship. i dont want to lose it just like that. on the other hand, im worried it'll affect my studies.

im worried.

that someday, someone will take up my place. then i'll be school-less. im not doing well for my tests. ALL my tests. even GP which i usually do better in. now, there's alot of people in my class who ace their english. for that matter, i know im really the inferior one around. always acting as though i know everything.
everyone in JC seems so smart. i hope im able to keep up with the pace, with everyone's pace. waking up everyday seems to be a chore. i dread taking the long buses to and from school. where i'll simply doze off halfway or drown myself in music.

im experiencing scarcity= Limited resources + unlimited wants.
i dont think i can shop like i used to know. im not free to go out. and even if i can, i know i'll end up feeling guilty ive just wasted a day when i come back from shopping. plus, im really broke now. =/ ive spent my money insensibly, yet again.
why cant i just eat sweets like i used to, like we used to when we were young. a packet is enough to make me feel happy. i wanna feel happy again.

Amazing Race is this Saturday. we will do well, hopefully.

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